It’s pretty funny how so many people in the snowy regions of the country defend living with the winter season, yet bitch, piss, and moan about it on Facebook from November till April. As a transplant from Vermont to Florida, it just fascinates me how many people forget Winter every Summer. It’s just the purest definition of Insanity: to keep repeating the same misery over and over again on purpose.

Now I did not say EVERYBODY. Read My Lips. I said so many people… not Everybody. So if you’re one of the true lovers of winter who never bitches, pisses, and moans about it, then this post isn’t about you and I’m sure you are just as fascinated by this behavior as I am. But if you are a liar, a phony who claims they love winter and all the seasons but then can’t seem to stop complaining about every dusting that comes along, then this blog post IS about you and, well, too bad for you. I’m going to pummel you now and that’s just because I can’t stand fakers, haters, and phony people almost as much as I can’t stand MTV and the pedophiles that run it.

Listen, winter sucks. There is an Equator on this planet where the days and nights are 12 hours each all year long, and the weather never changes. The closer you get to it, the better the quality of life, and the less you have to depend on Foreign Oil – and the American Multi-Billionaire interests that you buy it from – to stay alive. And interestingly enough, the less taxes you have to pay for real property in most cases. It’s funny how the oldest and richest States in the good ole’ USA are the most corrupt and feel the right to the self-appointed entitlement they have for your money. So they screw you with taxes, and they’ve brainwashed you to pretend to think you love freezing your ass off for half the year so you will keep buying Foreign Oil produced into Home Heating Oil by companies whose biggest investors are The Bush family and half of the crusty old politicians in Washington DC.

So, if you don’t like winter, move. If you love it, stay. But don’t claim you love it and then bitch, piss and moan about it for six months. That’s like claiming you’re a big partier, then bitching every time you get a hangover. A true partier wakes up, squeezes his head, says “oh my god last night was awesome” then drinks a glass of OJ with about 4 ounces of Vodka in it. Hair of the Dog they call it. Pretending to love winter and then bitching about it is like pretending to love animals but not owning any because you have nice carpets.

So grab your Ski Suit and Ski Boots and shut up about it! Grab your sled and go sledding! Embrace the freezing ice particles going down your neck. Grab your snow shoes and go for a hike! My sister has Snow Shoes and she never bitches about the winter. I think a good test to see if someone truly loves winter or is pretending to love winter is if they have a pair of snowshoes, or skis, or a snowmobile, or sleds hanging in the garage that they actually use every year.

Me? I loved winter until I had to start taking care of 150 inches of it every year and couldn’t afford a snow blower. I quickly learned to hate it, and I could bitch, piss and moan about it without being accused of hypocrisy.  Once I got a snow blower then it all went downhill from there because I somehow got a glimmer of hope that there must be a way that I can live without having to labor over snow and ice… every year my unabashed hatred for sub zero temperatures and feet after feet of snow and ice grew until it exploded into a move to Florida.

Moving to Florida was more like an escape from misery for me than a move, truth be told. My wife moved to be with Family. I moved so I could live without having to bitch, piss, and moan for six months every year.

Don’t believe me? It’s December 14th and we’re about to leave the house to go Strawberry Picking. I love winter!


Love and Prosperity to you ALL! Have an AWESOME Day!