OK, so once again I went against my better judgement and paid $4.99 to rent “Paranormal Activity 2” from Amazon Video On Demand. Against my better judgement because:

  1. I pay a considerable sum of money every month to Comcast for every Pay TV channel in existence (except porn – that’s another subject for another day and a non-rated-PG blog) so I can just wait until it comes out.
  2. Comcast’s own XFinity TV will allow me to watch online pretty much everything that’s available to me on my TV account including HBO, Showtime, etc.
  3. I have a Netflix account and it’ll eventually be on there as a download (as of this writing it’s only available as a DVD)
  4. Mostly everything can be gotten free if you just wait long enough or employ less than savory tactics like illegal downloads.

Don’t get me wrong: I’m just as much a fan of free stuff as the next guy but

I’m also an artist trying to squeek out a living in a world where everybody wants everything free. I believe in supporting the work I like by paying something. Even if that means just watching it on HBO when it comes out (which I pay for). I do have a smallish DVD and Blu-Ray collection of movies and TV I deem worth owning: notably all 9 seasons of X-Files and all 7 seasons of The Shield. Oh yeah and The Godfather (all 3), and of course the Directors Cuts of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, just to name a few. So, I buy what I like and in some cases I buy it twice. For instance, I bought Eminem’s Relapse album and his Recovery album from the Amazon MP3 store, and I loved them both so much I also purchased the CD’s of both albums. I do think it’s important to have physical CD’s of anything I really like a lot. I can rip them to my PC at the highest quality (there is a difference between .wav and 96kbit MP3’s, in case you haven’t noticed).

Anyway, I digress (I always say that but it’s true!). Paranormal Activity 2 was supposed to be a lot better than the first. I didn’t think so. I thought the tie-in between the two movies was a little bit weak, although entertaining. I didn’t count, but I bet about 40% of the movie were those incredibly annoying and repetitively boring 5 second shots of absolutely nothing happening on the many different security cameras. Day 1, Day 2, Day 3, Day 4, Day 5… nothing. Then a bump, or a thump… a pot drops (oogala-boogala!). The scariest scene in the movie was the kitchen cabinets all flying open with a loud bang. And the basement scene was pretty good, although I’m not sure how they went from the Dad being knocked to the ground to the next scene where he was walking around as if that didn’t just happen!

Personally, I think the Starz Originals series Spartacus is much scarier, what with all the graphic slo-mo blood-bath scenes… but that’s another review.

Things just aren’t scary anymore. It’s either blood for the sake of blood, or over-playing the “if nothing happens it creates tension” card. Sorry, but there’s only ONE Quentin Tarantino and he’s a master at making molasses-thick-intensely-scary-tension scenes. Remember the good old days when movies were actually Scary? Black and white flicks like “The Haunting of Hill House” were awesome because they weren’t so slow you could take a nap and not miss a thing. They didn’t have to show you much but always made your mind race to fill in the imaginary gaps.

So, getting back to the topic of this post, I’ve got some really great ideas for some scary stories and I think I should try to write a screenplay or two. I mean, after all, if the writers of P.A. 1and 2 could put out not just one but two bad movies and make a living, then I think my story about the guy who drops acid and opens a portal to another dimension would have a fighting chance to buy me that house on the hill….

How about a modern day take on Dante’s Inferno? I wrote an outline of exactly that story about 20 years ago and lost it. Screw it… I’ll just start from scratch and make it better.

Enjoy yourself while your still alive.


Love and Prosperity to you ALL! Have an AWESOME Day!