Can you smell it? Take a good whiff….. smell that stank? It’s the rotting-fish stink of more criminal activity coming out of Washington DC. This is all for the dead recording industry and let’s not kid ourselves. Not the new one, but the dead one. Not the dying one because it’s already dead and it just doesn’t know it yet. As a musician with 2 albums and 3 singles out on my own independent label I’m painfully aware that music is bought once and shared many times. But real fans, real followers, they’ll buy the music no matter what. And real artists are happy to share their gift and be able to eat and stay warm at night. I know I do. After listening to streams on Jango to discover new bands and then adding stuff I like to my Rhapsody library, the really good stuff gets a physical CD added to my collection. It’s a brave new world where everybody with an artistic bent can put it out there and it’s popularity is determined by, well, it’s popularity – not by what some coked-up overpaid record company executive tells people to think.

So I’m on a mission to

edumacate you. What is happening here is the equivalent of the Buggy Whip company pouring the remnants of their once enormous wealth into the pockets of our elected criminals to make it illegal to buy spark plugs and pretending to not be out to intentionally harm the new burgeoning Auto industry. It’s because spark plugs can be used to nipple-torture people. What’s that? Automo-what? Oh the poor old innocent buggy whip company and their bought-and-paid-for-elected-criminal-cronies don’t know what you’re talking about! They just want to protect your nipples from spark plugs. There will be fallout and unintended consequences, to be sure, but the spirit of the law isn’t out to destroy the new Auto industry. Nooooooooooooooooo, how could anyone think that.

So you have the dead record companies on one side of the equation. In the center we have their criminals in DC helping animate the corpse with shots of adrenaline gleaned from the lawsuits brought against 15 year old middle class teenagers and their parents. This was all made possible by the first “we’re not out to destroy the new music industry we’re just trying to protect the public” legislation called the Digital Millennium Copyright Act that was innocently trying to keep the Chinese from pirating MP3’s and never ever ever fucking ever intended to destroy the tiny sapling of a NEW recording industry before it got too much sunlight. But douse it with herbicides in the form of laws created to pretend to protect us as much as they did, they just….. can’t…… stop it. It’s like trying to kill everything that grows with a nuclear bomb just to kill one sapling. That’s what they are doing. Killing everything so they can keep kidding themselves that they’re still viable. But they’re not. They’re dead. The recording industry that was solely responsible for convincing everybody that Justin Beiber is a Great Artist while laughing at you all the way to the bank is dead. Rotting. Stinking.

But follow the money, folks. Because on the OTHER side of the equation are all of the Law Firms and Consulting Firms owned by the not-too-distant-cousins-and-brothers-in-law of our elected criminal cronies who’s sole purpose in life is to help their PAC’s set up startups and then enact legislation that will make the Startup suddenly and seemingly magically appear out of no where to take care of the new need created by such legislation.

Make no mistake. NOTHING comes out of DC without someone waiting in the wings, poised to jump at the bell from a starting gate that only the insiders know about (that would be the PAC’s and the cronies they put into office) while the rest of the sheeple are left behind to try and figure out what’s going on. It’s a race you can’t run because you don’t know the terms of the starting line or the finish line, whose running, who’s judging, or who’s paying the purse. A race with no spectators because the players like to draw the shades…

I would love to be a fly on the wall at those meetings where $2500 suits sit in a room filled with taxpayer funded 18th century furniture sipping taxpayer funded rare Irish whiskey and smoking taxpayer funded Cuban cigars and just laughing at how stupid and gullible we all are. I can imagine the conversation goes something like this:

FYI – in the context of this next spoof CEO stands for Criminal Elected Official

PAC – I can’t believe it! You’re so good at what you do! I just can’t believe how easy it was to just STATE the lie and have them all buy it! Unbelievable!

CEO – well, that was a piece of work, but those dumb-asses bought it hook line and sinker!

PAC – yeah, and to think all you had to do was get up on TV and just SAY what you wanted them to believe and they just bobbed their heads like Zombies and said “Oh, OK, if that’s what’s really going on then I’ll just get back to my video games and American Idol”

CEO – yeah, well, let’s not forget that I had to remember to throw a couple of “Jesus” ’s in there and a few “End of the world if we don’t” ’s and sprinkle on the “I don’t believe in Evolution or Global Warming” ’s. That usually makes their beady little eyes just glaze over. Worked with TARP, didn’t it? We just took their money to bail out our own personal portfolios. You know we bought loads of shares of those damn derivatives. All of us did. All we had to do was tell people we were bailing out the banks and they just… trust! We just handed 1.3 Trillion of taxpayer money to the banks and told the sheeple it was for jump-starting the economy, and then the banks just padded all those bad mortgage investments just long enough for us to quietly get out from under. Man people are dumb.

PAC – well, you called it. I’m glad I bought stock in that unknown company that we set up – you buy your stock?

CEO – oh, yes sir I sure did!! I put in my order for a hundred thousand shares in advance of the IPO at 20 cents a share. In about a month they’ll be worth about 25 bucks each. Not bad, eh? I’ll sell them off way before people realize it’s junk. But we’ll divert attention again the way we did with Martha Stewart.

PAC – can’t you get in trouble for that?

CEO – trouble? No way! I’m exempt from insider trading! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

PAC – but, what about transparency – won’t people figure this out?

CEO – No way. I didn’t buy the stocks myself. That would be dumb. I didn’t get here by being as dumb as the sheeple that elected me, you know? I had my offshore company – you know the one that is registered in one of those tiny island countries without any corporate taxes – do the actual investing. No problem.

PAC – but isn’t that company in your name? Won’t people find out?

CEO – I told you I’m not an idiot! Jeez will you get with the program? I own the company that owns the company that is co-owned by the company that is owned by the company that owns the company that owns the company that bought the stock.

PAC – damn… how do you keep that straight?

CEO – they all have PO boxes at the same address in some podunk town in Iowa.

PAC – Iowa…. now I think I’m getting it…

So there you have it. It’s just another rant from me. Kind of a free flow of brain defecation. Don’t blame me blame the Fluoride. It’s in the water. They use the water to make Beer.

(if you’re a politician, don’t hate me. Hate yourself)

 


Love and Prosperity to you ALL! Have an AWESOME Day!