It’s not always that I use expletives or pseudo-hidden expletives in the title of a post, but when I was working on the lyrics of this video last night, the same thing happened to me that has always happened to me since I started really hearing my own words when listening to this song. I wept. It is a song about waking up one day and realizing that your life is going by you with or without your knowledge or consent. Where did my life go? As I sift through the dust of years gone bye. Powerful stuff. I can almost see it as if it was written by somebody else since these lyrics were actually written more than 30 years ago!!! I was in my early 20’s when I wrote these words. In fact, I ‘ve said it before and I’ll say it again in case you missed it: the lyrics for the entire album Life and Death was written in one sitting, in the middle of the night, while I worked as a mainframe computer operator for the Donald Grenier Corporation in Mahopac, NY.

One of these days I’ll write a blog post showing the original green bar tractor feed paper that the songs were printed on that night.

My shift was 6 PM till 2 AM. I had a very specific set of tasks to perform and get completed, and I was allowed to leave early as long as everything was done. Doug, the computer consultant that worked there writing code, came in one night as we got stoned out in the warehouse at around 1:30 in the morning. I was done with all my work and ready to go home. I was a big pothead back then. Sorry, but it’s true and I don’t apologize for it. Doug left, and I was hit with what I can only call a divinely inspired need to write. I sat down at the IBM mainframe console and created a new text file, and proceeded to start typing. In about 3 hours, I had written the entire Life and Death album lyrics, from Cold Cruel World to Hole in the Ground and everything in between.

Well, even to this day when I listen to this song, the lyrics make me very upset. And if you are anywhere approaching or in mid-life, it should resonate with you as well.

Always pretending that I will never grow old. Seriously.


 

Where Did My Life Go Lyrics
by Jerry Boutot

I’ve been breezing along for so long now
I haven’t even realized that youth is leaving me behind
As I look at myself in the mirror now
I’ve just begun to realize that death is walking by my side

And I know I don’t have very much time
To do the things I dreamed about since oh, so very long ago
So I think it’s time for me to step out
Like I should have done when I was young Way too many years ago

Now I ask myself where did my life go?
As I sift through the dust of years gone by
And I wake up and realize I have been blind
Always pretending that I would never grow old

I pray many prayers at the thought of my death

So I run for a while and when I turn around
They’re telling me that I’m too old, my service is no longer required
So I run and hide from the fear I feel inside
That I’ve become too useless and my whole life has been fruitless

They give me a gold watch and shake my hand
And tell me that I’m lucky ’cause I can take off and see the country
But I’m much too tired for having fun any more
And the pay I get for working hard Won’t even get me to the grocery store

Now I ask myself where did my life go?
As I frantically search through the years gone by
And I wake up and realize I have been blind
Always pretending that I would never grow old

I pray many prayers at the dawn of my death

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Love and Prosperity to you ALL! Have an AWESOME Day!